There were two stories that dominated the mainstream media this week: President Obama's proposed economic stimulus package and a mother who gave birth to octuplets. At first I ignored the latter story other than mentioning to my husband about the time when I was a teenager that my family adopted someone who was an octuplet. We named him Napoleon and I loved and treated him like a brother. There was no media attention to Napoleon--no television interviews, no newspaper stories, no Internet stories and sites about him. The main reason why the news media never pursued a story about the circumstances surrounding the births of Napoleon and his biological siblings: Napoleon was a dog.
The media initially covered the octuplet story as a wonderful heartwarming tale of survival against all odds and there was even some admiration expressed for the mother's determination to go through with the pregnancy of all eight babies despite the doctor's advice that she undergo selective abortion.
But then the shit hit the fan when the news media learned more about the octuplets' mother. Her name is Nadya Suleman, she is 33 years old, she has no job, she currently lives with her parents in their home, and she was separated from her husband in 2000 (with the divorce being finalized in 2008). In addition, she is already the mother of six other children, including a set of two-year-old twins and a three-year-old with autism. All of her children, including the octuplets were the result of fertility treatments with the same fertility clinic. Suleman's ex-husband is not the father of any of her children. The biological father of all of her children is named David Soloman and he's been described as "one of her admirers".
If all that wasn't enough, Suleman's parents had filed for bankruptcy and abandoned a previous home a little over a year-and-a-half ago and Suleman's father, a former Iraqi military man, is in the process of heading back to his native Iraq to earn money to help support his grandchildren.
Despite the criticism regarding Suleman's choices, there are media outlets who are swarming Suleman with book and TV offers for her story. There are even reports that Suleman has already put a price tag on this: $2 million.
So far Suleman has spoken to NBC's Ann Curry. A video excerpt of that interview has surfaced and the rest of the story will be aired next week on both the Today Show and Dateline. In the video, Suleman defends her actions. She said that people are paying attention to her because she took risks and she made a decision to live an unconventional lifestyle. She also said that she intends to resume her college studies in order to get her master's degree and she will be able to provide for her children. She emphasizes that she is full of determination to succeed.
Okay, it's obvious from the video that Suleman is idealistic and naive at best and totally delusional at worst. While the whole interview hasn't surfaced yet, I only hope Ann Curry asked something like this to Suleman: "You say that you want to finish your education and get a master's degree. You are also 33 years old and already the mother of six children. You are still in your prime childbearing years. Hasn't it occurred to you to wait until after you get your degree before you decided to have more children?"
The fact that Suleman is expecting to go back to college and resume her studies while being unemployed, single, and dealing with 14 children reveals her to be living in a totally fantasy dream world. Granted, Suleman has received $168,000 for state disability payments for an on-the-job back injury nearly 10 years ago but that's not enough to pay for everything. Unless she has somehow wrangled a full scholarship, she's going to have to deal with tuition, books, school supplies, and other related expenses.
Even if she has a full scholarship, she is going to have to deal with arranging child care for all those children while she's in class and while she has to take time out to do homework and studying.
And then there is the one autistic child to deal with. For years I've heard plenty of how having one autistic child can tax the patience and resources of the most dedicated parents. I've known teachers who've had students with Asperger's (which is a more mild form of autism) who said that they were a challenge to deal with because they have a tendency to disrupt an entire class. How on earth can Suleman deal with an autistic child and a set of octuplets is beyond me.
Okay, so it seems like Suleman has problems with facing reality. But, if it weren't for enablers, her fantasy of obtaining a large family through a fertility clinic would've remained just a fantasy.
David Solomon: The biological father of all of Suleman's children hasn't spoken publicly about this yet. He could've refused to take part in all of this in the first place. Heck, even after Suleman had her first few children, he could've said "That's enough! I'm not donating any more sperm!" But, no, he kept on jerking off without even realizing the consequences of his actions.
The fertility clinic: Suleman had used the same clinic for all of her children. You'd think that after a while the doctors at that clinic would've advised her to consider not having any more children after a while. You'd think they would warn her about the consequences of continuing to get pregnant over and over again. But they didn't seem to do anything like that. In addition, they implanted a whopping six embryos inside of her (two of them split soon afterwards, which brought up the fetus total to eight) while most national fertility clinic guidelines advocate implanting no more than two at a time. I've recently heard that the authorities in California is investigating that fertility clinic and I hope everyone involved in this incident is made to pay for this because there is really no excuse for this.
Suleman's parents: Suleman has been living with her parents while she was busy giving birth to baby after baby. Despite their past financial problems, it's apparent they didn't put their foot down and tell her after she had the third or fourth child that this is as many children that they can handle under their roof. They could've told her that if she wanted to have any more children she should get a job and move out into her own place. If she complained, they could've told her that it's their home and she needed to abide by their rules if she wished to live with them. But it seemed like they didn't do that. They basically stepped aside and let their daughter have her way.
If Suleman had been pressured into getting a job and moving into her own place, she would've had to confront the reality of raising children on her own. Perhaps she would've seen the light and decide against revisiting the fertility clinic over and over again.
The mainstream news media: For years the media has hyped multiple births, especially the television networks. I can remember when they tracked the first few years of the Dilley sextuplets (who were the first surviving sextuplets born in the United States) two or three times a year (usually during a ratings sweeps period). Then when the McCaughey septuplets were born, the media promptly forgot the Dilley children and focused on the newer babies since they were the first surviving septuplets.
All of the stories revolved around how it was a miracle that all of these children survived and they focused on the cute and humorous side of raising so many children at one time. Sure the news media may occasionally mention the health risks facing children who are part of a multiple birth but they tend to emphasize the positive and funny side of all those children.
In the last few years the media has moved beyond the occasional feature news stories highlighting the growing up years of a multiple and have now produced a weekly cable television series about multiples. Jon & Kate Plus Eight is a reality TV show about a couple who wanted a family but had fertility problems. They went to a fertility clinic where they succeeded in having a set of twins. A few years later, the couple decided that they wanted to have a third child so they went back to the fertility clinic. In an illustration of the old saying "Be careful of what you wish for..." they were even more successful than the first time around: They had a set of sextuplets.
The show is the biggest hit for TLC and the entire family have become celebrities. They have received money, clothes, expensive vacations, furniture, food, toys, and even a larger house. The show has also created controversy, which is well documented in the unofficial blogs Gosselins Without Pity and Truth Breeds Hatred (the latter was started by an associate of Jon and Kate's sister-in-law who was a regular guest on the series during its early days until she began to express her concerns about the children's well-being to their parents and the show's producers--she was subsequently thrown off the series and is no longer allowed to visit the children).
With all of this focus on the good side of large multiple births and the material rewards and freebies that the parents received it's no wonder that a less-than-mentally stable person like Nadya Suleman gets the idea that having a multiple birth could the key to public attention and prosperity. If she gets what she wants, then she could provide an unfortunate example to another mentally unstable woman who gets the idea of having a large group of multiples is a totally cool idea. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if some disturbed woman is thinking about trying for octuplets of her own. Or maybe going further by trying for producing nonuplets, decaplets, undecaplets, or even duodecaplets.
It's too late to do anything about the Suleman octuplets since they are already here. But the news media and the federal government can do something to prevent any more such births from happening. The federal government can pass a law requiring fertility clinics to limit all embryonic implants to no more than two at a time. Any clinic caught violating the law will be required to completely provide financial support for any large multiples they created.
We also need to call on the news media to stop glorifying such large multiple births. As long as they continue to profit from this, they will continue to produce stories on the heartwarming side of having multiples. We the public need to start boycotting any and all such stories. We need to stop watching series like Jon and Kate Plus Eight and start sending e-mails and letters to the editor emphasizing the downside of large multiples and express scorn to the media for glorifying such stories.
We need to keep in mind that when it comes to multiples and the frequent health problems they produce, the children are the ones who tend to suffer the most.
Labels: reality television, total fuckups, WTF
